Friday, August 23, 2013

Jedi Nation

In Star Wars when Naboo, Leia's homeworld is destroyed by the Death Star, Obi Wan slumps over in the Millennium Falcon and utters something like, "I feel as if ten thousand souls suddenly screamed out, and then were silenced."

Hmm, is Obi Wan using his Jedi powers to snoop on the universe? One could see it that way, but the verb "snoop" carries the connotation that he did not have the snoopee's best interests at heart. And Obi Wan was all heart.

Hence the Jedi Nation.

Let us take the current climate of anti-terrorist snooping. It brings to mind images of kicked down doors in the middle of night, subjects disappearing based on flimsy wiretap evidence. But what if we take the Jedi approach? What if the next day, Obi Wan shows up to the subjects apartment, offers to buy her some coffee and says, "I got a feeling from the Force that you're feeling a but unhappy with the current government and some other stuff. You know all these wars over oil piss me off too. Want to talk to someone about it? Are you in a bad spot right now? I could help you with your rent for awhile. Are you looking for work? Let me measure your mitochondria. You're a bit old to start the training, but the force runs strong in you. We'll make a Jedi out of you yet!"

If she still resists, Obi Wan can try Jedi mind tricks. "Theses are not the innocent civilians you are looking for." If she tries to kill Obi Wan, then he might be forced to slice her up with his light-saber in self defense.
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